best friends

There is a boy in Joel's class that Joel says is his best friend. His name is Michael, and of course we love Michael. I remember the first time we did a play date with Michael. Michael's mom and I laughed and joked that this was the quietest playdate we'd ever seen.

Although Joel loves Michael, I have no idea if he and Michael have ever had a real conversation, or even really talked to each other. They are off in their own world, playing near each other but not with each other. There's not a lot of interaction going on, but Joel talks about Michael at home and asks "Michael please?! Where's Michael?"

The other day I dropped off Joel at school, and he sat down next to Michael. Joel looked at the door as I left and started to cry. As I watched through the window, I saw Michael pat Joel on the shoulder, and hold his hand gently.

(So now two of us were crying.)

I will always treasure the sweet relationship between these two little boys. Thank you Michael, for being his friend.

2015

It has been so long since I have written anything here. I started to worry that I was only sharing depressing things, that by focusing on our struggles I would somehow depress my friends and family. But honestly, I do better when I am sharing stories, whether they are good or bad.

Joel has made so much progress. He's using so many words and phrases that I have hard keeping track. He loves to read and play on his Ipad. (We are mean parents, there are only educational apps on his Ipad and primary songs... no games unless they involve reading or math.)

The things we are working on have evolved, as have we as parents. I remember going to an event at Joel's school around Christmas time, and a mom told me about her nonverbal kid. "Mine too," I said. Totally out of habit. And I sat there and ate my words when I met her son, who is TRULY nonverbal, while my Joel sat there and chattered about Nemo and Lightning McQueen. Sometimes it's so hard to remember how far he has come, how difficult that phase was.

Joel is at a special charter school for autism students this year. His class is all little boys with autism, a crazy little kindergarten group full of quirky kids. He loves going to school, and seems to have a good time while he's there. His teachers are great and we feel so fortunate to be part of a community that  understands these special kids.